Article of the Day
Friday, April 30, 2010
From the BigWoop archives come an article that didn't make the cut due to size constrictions but definitly one of my favorites check this out buck hunter fans...
Hunting Season Opens on Corydon Avenue
By Tony Beaudoin
Photos David Seburn
Vegans and vegetarians, rejoice! Now you too can pick off deer as they make a vain attempt to escape - just like the rest of us. Here’s your chance to wear camouflage and weave a tapestry of obscenities when the 14-pointer dashes behind a boulder to safety. But wait, there’s more, as you won’t even have to leave the comfort of the urban jungle. This is Big Buck Hunter! The perfect mixture of arcade delight and merciless slaughter glowing from the back corner of Bar Italia on the Corydon strip. On June 28, 2009, an epic battle of “Hunter Heroes” and “Doe Killers” alike took place to decide once and for all, who the greatest marksman was. Maybe I should turn the clock back some to give you a better idea of how this all came about.
When the Big Buck Hunter machine arrived at Bar Italia, pinball went to the wayside. A constant competition erupted as high scores and regional Hunter Hero awards were battled for on a daily basis. Friends had turned into enemies, while text messages and phone calls declaring new superiority became common place. This needed to come to some sort of a reasonable end, as if something this ridiculous could ever come to a reasonable end, but, we had to try. This is when I stumbled across the one hope we had of deciding who was #1. It was to become a kind of holy grail on Corydon and only by fluke did I discover it.
It was Sunday, June 13, 2009, and Dave Bellis, my two roommates and myself woke up early to hit the EQ3 clearance centre. Our mission was discounted living room furniture and, while we sifted though sofas, sectionals and coffee tables, Dave and I came across a table near the front counter. I was filled with odds and ends, that I no longer have any recollection of, as what I saw next stole my undivided attention. Shimmering in gold leaf, was a large deer-shaped candle holder. I swiftly snagged it so no one else could get there hands on it (as if anyone in the right mind would have). I took it to the cashiers and asked them to hold it for me, while Dave and I giggled like school girls. We continued to shop for furniture, which was what we were supposed to be doing in the first place, and then off to the car. With the would-be trophy in hand we headed to the mall to add to the glory of our newly found prize.
We were in the middle of having a plate engraved to declare this eyesore’s purpose when I called Rod Seridilla, a Bar Italia manager. I relayed the good news and it was decided that a tournament needed to be organized. Back in the car we made our way to Dave’s apartment to grab a shotgun shell shot glass to complete construction of the trophy. War was declared and in two weeks the victor would be crowned in an all out battle for those brave enough to face off.
What started completely by accident had morphed into an eighteen contestant double elimination tournament sponsored by Jagermiester. Entrants of all skill levels now vied for the Golden Buck, placed aptly atop the very machine that the contest took place on. Men (or thirty-something year old boys), women and even a Manitoba UFC legend, squared off for prizes, glory and most importantly, bragging rights. Brazilian jiu-jitsu specialist Joe “El Dirte” Doerksen entered in the first heat proclaiming he’d punch out anyone who beat him. Right about then, five-foot nothing, Aimee Zaharia introduced herself as one of his first round opponents. Refusing to threaten a girl in polite company, he turned to his only other opponent, Dave Bellis, and stated he wouldn’t hit Aimee, but he’d knock Dave out. With everyone in hysterics the tournament was under way.
Trays of Jag shots descended upon the pseudo-hunters, who were decked out in all varieties of Jagermiester gear. Beers flowing, the inebriated adversaries faced off for six rounds, to determine those who belonged on the “A-side” and the unworthy who belonged on the “B” (sadly, but expectedly I fell to the latter). As the night carried on, the smack-talk gained volume and aggression. Rivals fell in heated combat until only two remained, Rod “RYU” Seridilla and Chris “MOX” Moxley. After four solid hours of arcade animal bloodshed, a champion would finally be established.
The last men standing went toe to toe, annihilating buck after buck, round after round. The conclusion came when, with two misses already under his belt, Rod brought down a doe, making Chris Moxley the first ever Buck Hunter Champion. Considering the tournament was filled with a spattering of sore losers and all-around spiteful jackasses, a childish reprisal was already in the works. In true Bar Italia fashion, the shot requested by our freshly crowned champion was replaced with Bacardi 151. For those of you fortunate enough to have never consumed Bacardi 151, it is the equivalent of being punched repeatedly in the stomach, while your mouth is on fire. As we all relished in the small victory of someone else’s misery, the night came to a close.
Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “What the hell does this have to do with skateboarding?”. The answer is nothing at all. It just seemed like too ridiculous of an event to not be reported. With arcades disappearing, it is a rare occasion to find people crowding around a machine, locking horns, for a small piece of glory. Round one was a night packed with foul-mouthed maniacs, drinking themselves into oblivion for a chance at claiming a glorified candle holder. So, if swearing at video games and hating on your friends in a public arena sounds like your idea of fun, make sure to be there for round two. It should prove to be nothing less than an amplified version of it’s predecessor.
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